Tirgearr Publishing Logo
Cover of Sister Agatha: The World's Oldest Serial Killer by Domhnall O'Donoghue
Released: August 2016
ISBN: 9781311068941
ASIN: B01HC2KYOU
Kindle US, Kindle UK
Smashwords
Apple, Kobo, Nook

Print Release: September 2016
ISBN: 9781910234211
Amazon US, Amazon UK

SISTER AGATHA
The World's Oldest Serial Killer

Author: Domhnall O'Donoghue
Length: Novel
Genre: Comedic Thriller
Digital Price: $3.99
Print Price: $11.99

Sister Agatha is a colossal 118 years of age, whose vim and vigour would put the most robust athletes to shame. During a routine check-up, however, her doctor claims she has just a week to live, news that proves to be quite inconvenient, seeing as the beloved sister has one ambition in life: to be the oldest person in the world. At last count, she was the fifth.

However, never one to admit defeat, Sister Agatha concocts a bold Plan B. Dusting off her passport, she decides to leave Irish shores for the first time in her very long life, and using the few days remaining, plans to travel across three continents and meet the only four people whose birthday cakes boast more candles than hers.

And then, one by one, she intends on killing them.

Excerpt
Sister Agatha had been wearing tinted glasses for many years, a snappy and stylish accessory that added a splash of definition to her soft, bulbous face. She wasn’t sensitive to the sun, however; in fact, the nun had always enjoyed lolling about in the convent’s ample grounds on a summer’s day. No, the real reason this much-loved figure armed herself with such distinctive and flattering eyewear was less to do with her eagerness to be on trend, but more on account of their ability to give people the impression that she was listening to them when, in reality, she was like Rip Van Winkle and catching forty winks. Having graced God’s earth for one hundred and eighteen years, she had, understandably, long since tired of having to give counsel to people’s many pickles and predicaments.

In terms of subject matter, not only had this reluctant sounding board been privy to the humdrum, she had also been exposed to the hardcore. Indeed, had she been a lady of letters, Sister Agatha could have furnished an entire library with scandalous novels bursting with content that would put a blush on the cheeks of even the most progressive free-thinkers.

“If I reported to the world the many anecdotes that I’ve gathered over the years, amorous men and women would be so inspired by this roguery that we wouldn’t see them for dust again!” she firmly decided many years previously, thereby putting paid to any inclinations of becoming the next best-selling, saucy scribe.

Certainly, she was aware that some might argue it was in her professional remit to provide a sympathetic ear to those in need, and while she was in agreement, some days the old doll had neither the interest nor the energy.

Such as this morning.

As she sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s surgery, located on Navan’s busy Abbey Road, Sister Agatha thanked the good Lord above that she had come equipped with her invaluable glasses; after all, nothing encouraged sleep like a conversation about someone’s furry friend.

Doreen Cooney, the town bore, had made a beeline for Sister Agatha when she spotted her on arrival. Despite the fact that she had claimed to be in the throes of a brutal battle with tonsillitis, the gabby school principal appeared to be in full voice as she waxed lyrical about her new adorable cat, Lolita, and the crazy escapades they got up to together. (It was no wonder Mr Cooney had recently accepted a job on the oil rigs off the coast of Scotland; the constant sound of drilling was sure to be an excellent tonic to his wife’s relentless chatter.)

“Sister, I could honestly spend the whole day long just squeezing and tickling and kissing the little cutey pie!” Doreen readily confessed. “You should hear the adorable sounds Lolita makes when she’s indigestion!”

Luckily, within seconds of the new arrival launching into her diatribe about her darling playmate, Sister Agatha had hightailed it to the land of nod and, thanks to her extremely helpful spectacles, nobody knew any better. And that is where she remained until the rugged Doctor McManus emerged from his surgery some ten minutes later.

“My appointment book tells me that it’s time to give my star patient her monthly once-over,” he heartily announced from his door, resisting the urge to give the proud and self-sufficient, super-centenarian a helping hand, as he had been previously instructed.

On the subject of time, Sister Agatha had noted that the handsome, unmarried doctor was unusually behind schedule today. When she had first arrived half an hour earlier, he had promised that he would be as quick as a wink. Either he was exaggerating or was, like the late Sister Veronica, held to ransom by Bell's palsy and having difficulties closing his peepers because thirty minutes certainly didn’t constitute a wink, in her eyes. She contemplated bringing this to his attention in case he was blind to the situation but then dismissed the idea straight away, seeing as a doctor of all people should be aware of such symptoms.

Besides, she wasn’t there to worry about the lovely Doctor McManus’ health; she had kept her appointment today so that her own hardy form could be scrutinised and given the proverbial two thumbs up. And so, with impressive agility, Sister Agatha shook off her slumber and got to her feet. She bade Mrs Cooney goodbye (while secretly thanking her for the rather pleasant catnap) and walked in the direction of the surgery.

“And, I was just about to show you some of our homemade videos,” Doreen lamented. “I suppose I could just wait until you’re finished?”

Sister Agatha’s reply to this horrid suggestion was a blunt shutting of the surgery door behind her.

Every first Wednesday of the month, the formidable nun rocked up to the Abbey Road premises for a straightforward, on-the-off-chance examination. Each and every time, Doctor McManus would probe her from head to toe then praise her extraordinary robustness to the high heavens—a place the one-hundred-and-eighteen-year-old had no interest in frequenting anytime in the near future.

Sister Agatha felt confident today would be no different.

What the reviewers are saying
"A killer concept" ~ The Irish Daily Star

• • •

"A darkly comic tale" ~ The Irish Daily Mail

• • •

"One of the funniest books I've ever read." ~ Mary Roe, Connemara Community FM

• • •

"I found myself hooked to the story from page one all the way through to page 201, to the point where there were times where I actually had to pull myself away from the book just so I wouldn’t be late for work." ~ Wee Bit Wordy Blog

• • •

"A serial-killing nun is not your everyday romance related topic, but it truly is a romance. Perfect for those wanting to sink their teeth into alternate writing styles. There is plenty to keep readers wondering till the end." ~ Julie York, InD'Tale Magazine

• • •

"Domhnall [has] some mind...When they say 'comic thriller', this book does what it says on the tin...There is so much in it to enjoy...It works really, really well." ~ Gerry Kelly, Late Lunch, LMFM
Radio Interview: http://utv.vo.llnwd.net/o16/LMFM/2016/07/29/LateLunch290716.mp3

• • •

"A laugh-out-loud, globe-trotting adventure that is wildly unique with an enormous amount of heart. And despite Sister Agatha being a considerable 118 years of age, the naughty nun still has more energy than a school playground! One of the year's best débuts." ~ Jennifer Zamparelli, presenter of 2FM's Breakfast Republic

• • •

"Beautifully written, you're fully engaged at all times and you can't help but cheer her on in her misdeeds. [W]ith Sister Agatha, surely [O'Donoghue has] secured himself as a one to watch in contemporary Irish literature. We loved it, the detailing, the plot and the mix of comedy and thriller genres. His writing reminded us a little of Colin Bateman, that mix of fun and fear. Well recommended." ~ Book of the Week at Woman's Way Magazine

• • •

"Hilarious" - Irish Tatler Man Magazine

• • •

"Vivid" - The Connacht Tribune

• • •

You’re never too old to get into some mischief.
Getting to know Sister Agatha was delightful. I admired her intelligence and resourcefulness, but what really made me like her was her uncanny ability to reveal something new about herself just when I thought I had her all figured out . . . The dialogue in this story was lively . . . Every character had an unique voice and something important to share with the audience. ~ LAS Reviews, Amazon

• • •

A bundle of laughs from start to finish!
Sister Agatha is a book filled with character, wit and heart. It is a fast-paced page-turner, which will leave you with a grin on your face from the first page to the last. Sister Agatha herself is a fascinating figure, and as the narrative follows her and her travels, the novel unfolds with a hilarious and often moving ensemble of supporting characters. Great for armchair travelling, Sister Agatha is highly entertaining and well written- a sparkling debut from this first time novelist. ~ Stephen, Amazon

• • •

Tag along on Sister Agatha's sinister travels!
Sister Agatha might be 118, but there are four others older than she is. She wants to be the oldest person to have ever lived which means she must kill the people before she kicks the bucket. Not a believer in moderation, this Sister of Christ travels to places where the four reside: Tunis, the United State, Poland, and Italy. Remembering how she came to be, entertaining and funny flashbacks are foremost in her mind, but her observations are as keen as her wit. Never mind that in the convent the former Butsy Miller became known as the dustbin because she polished off the leftovers. If she can turn off the inner self-righteous voice, she has the stomach for murder. In Tunis does she stone Tayri Chakchouk? What about the others? I highly recommend Sister Agatha to those who enjoy comedy thrillers. Nicely written by Domhnall O'Donoghue. ~ Kathleen Rowland, Amazon

• • •

A sister like no other
This genre isn't one I'd normally go for, but I did what you're always advised not to...I judged a book by it's cover! How could I pass by a lovely old lady with such an enticing glint in her eye? I just wanted to know what secrets were behind those sealed lips! Well,that old adage about judgement was proved right on this occasion, in the best possible sense, as the contents managed to far surpass any expectations I formed from looking at its cover. From start to finish I found this a delightfully engaging read. I loved the fact that the main character is not only a nun - but also a centarian (how often do you come across those in novels!?) with the energy and drive of someone one tenth her age. The pace of the story is perfect, it grips you right from the very beginning, and before you know it you're off with Sr Agatha on her journey to become the oldest person in the world. And what an adventure it becomes! The writing is witty and clever. As the reader you meet so many wonderfully interesting and colourful characters along the way - they're so vivid they almost jump out from the page at you! I thoroughly enjoyed each and every one of their own personal stories, and never did the telling of those take away from the overall plot itself. A right old caper is how I would describe this book - it's so much fun, so entertaining, so hilarious at times that you'll be hard pressed to put it down. ~ Amazon Reader

• • •

wonderfully crafted characters and original plot
I absolutely adored this book. With its clever and sharp writing, wonderfully crafted characters and original plot, I was hooked from start to finish. Domhnall O'Donoghue has managed to create an unforgettable protagonist in the shape of Sister Agatha at a time when strong female leads are few and far between. He manages to subvert our expectations time and time again and his flair for witty dialogue and colourful descriptions is apparent throughout. Laugh out loud funny! ~ Ms K, Amazon

• • •

A Joy
Oh I liked this book a lot. I was interested in this initially on account of the travelogue aspect of the story and, by coincidence I was in all of the places where Sister Agatha visits. The descriptions of the cities and countries are very detailed and informative with plenty of unknown facts thrown in. The WW2 element of the Polish story was really clever. The writing style is very witty and vivid and the characters are larger than life and interesting. I laughed out loud lots of times. Overall I found it to be imaginative, funny and clever. I will definitely recommend it to my friends. ~ Larry, Amazon

• • •

Guaranteed to make you LOL!
What an exciting debut novel from a clearly talented author who lives up to the Irish stereotype of having the gift of the gab. In Sister Agatha, he has created a character that one cannot but adore with her wit, her power, her determination, her spontaneity and her warmth. How refreshing in this day and age to see such a powerful older female character blaze across the world in her endeavours to obtain the coveted title of the World's Oldest Person. The style, tone and humour of the author make it difficult to put this book down and the suspense created brings the reader along as a witness to Sister Agatha's greatly entertaining adventure. The use of flash backs and the vivid portrayal of the evolution of all the characters make this an absorbing, yet light hearted, read. Each character has their story to tell - from the nasty and spiteful Mrs Keogh to the hilarious gambler fanatic Sister Fidelma - and the presence of strong women, as I've I highlighted before, is a welcome addition. I can't wait to see what the author produces next! Highly recommended ~ JJ, Amazon

• • •

Really good fun!
I really loved this book. Sister Agatha is mischievous and hilarious in equal measure. I particularly enjoyed her getting involved in a WW2 spy plot. I hope I am as full of life as Sister Agatha when I am her age. I wonder will we see more of her in the future or in the past? Or does she have any ancestors of note? A great read! ~ Amazon Reader

• • •

Loved it. Great story and so different than the usual. Really entertaining to the last page. ~ Aileen, Amazon

• • •

Sister Agatha: The Funniest Nun In The Convent!
Funny and entertaining, once you have turned the first page you want to reach the end of the book to find out whether Sister Agatha will triumph in her goal to become the oldest person in the world. I really enjoyed the fresh style of the author and the detailed descriptions of the places Sister Agatha travels to while chasing the only four people who are older than her. I would definitely recommend this book to whomever is looking for a light read, it is impossible not to love the apparently frail but cheeky Sister Agatha and all her nun friends! ~ Gabriele, Amazon

• • •

With a bit of the newspaper and travel journalist writing styles to enjoy this was a fast-paced, snappy, educational and interesting story with insightful vignettes into the lives of side characters that enlivened my time with Agatha. What a character she was and what a life she led. I believe her last decade on earth might have been the most rewarding. If you are in the mood for something different that will take you to interesting places and allow you to meet new characters then this is a book I would recommend to you. ~ Cathy Geha, Library Thing

• • •

[Sister Agatha]...is a serial killer - bent on becoming the oldest person in the world! The only way to achieve that status is to dispose of the four individuals ahead of her, who are scattered all over the world. It's an impulsive end-of-life desire to be "first". Aged 118, she is going through a teenage phase for the second time in her life. The tone of the novel is that of bittersweet naughtiness. Its' (sic) marked by the same sharp, effortless eloquence one would expect from an Irish author. Marina J Neary, CT Commie blog

 

HOMEAUTHORSBOOKSSUBMISSIONSNEWSLETTERTIRGEARR
                    

• Copyright © Tirgearr Publishing - All Rights Reserved •