excerpt from Christmas Schedule Blues
Chloe was stressed out merely thinking about Christmas. She kept insisting that it was celebrated on the wrong day, maybe even the wrong month. She’d read somewhere that it was really December 7 or January 24.
“It’s meaningless,” she said, watching her friend Lorraine decorate the office walls with loops of gold-coloured paper and gold-sprayed holly.
“Nonsense,” said Lorraine, moving the steps along to another area of wall. “Doesn’t it all this make you feel better? Feel happier and looking forward to the festivities and fun?”
Chloe shook her head. “Sorry, no. It only makes me feel tired. If you handed me a cracker, I wouldn’t have the energy to pull it.”
“Mince pie? I’ve brought in loads.”
“No, thank you. Too sweet and loaded with calories.”
“Roast turkey on Christmas day?”
“You can buy supermarket turkey all year round, so what’s so special?”
Chloe shuddered. “I can’t stand them. Who started carols, I’d like to know? Those endless carols in shops, recorded carols in the street, carols on the doorstep. Save me from wallpaper carols.”
“What about your family?”
“The only family I have is a brother and he’s in the Navy, somewhere at sea.”
Lorraine pinned up the last sprig of holly. “Oh dear, is there anything that you do like about Christmas?”
Chloe thought carefully. She didn’t send cards or give unsuitable presents or make visits now. “I quite like snow,” she said.
“I’ll order it for you,” said Lorraine. “Remind me to speak to the weather man.”